Newly separated people are often highly vulnerable. They find themselves thrown into a new situation after the stability of marriage. They may be very upset or angry. On occasions, they may not cope well. They can make mistakes that have serious consequences for a subsequent divorce case.
It’s important to remember you may face a custody battle over the children of the marriage and what you do or say can affect the outcome of that case. Here are five things you should not do when you are separated.
1 Bad Mouth Your Former Partner in Front of the Children
You should not talk ill about your separated spouse in front of your children or seek to turn them against the other partner. This kind of behavior may be documented and it will not help your case. Avoid abusive emails and texts and social media posts that provide a written record of your anger. Rather than bad mouthing the other party, talk to your children about the situation and try to get them to understand. However, don’t try to force them to take sides as children can often feel they are to blame for the failure of a marriage.
Common mistakes when you are newly separated
2 Immediately Get Involved in a New Relationship
After a bad marriage ends in separation it’s very tempting to get into a new relationship. These kinds of ‘rebound relationships’ can complicate matters and may prove incriminating in divorce proceedings.
You should give yourself time to heal and reflect on what went wrong. Becoming involved in a new relationship can complicate the healing process.
When you have children, a new relationship may complicate your efforts to establish a different kind of normality with your children.
3 Rush to File Divorce Papers
After a relationship has broken down you may feel angry. You may want to file divorce papers as soon as possible to punish the other party.
Allow some time for your emotions to cool. Although a majority of separations lead to divorce, your marriage may be salvageable. Taking time away from your partner may help you gain perspective. If nothing else, not rushing into divorce may allow a better dialogue to develop with your estranged spouse and you may work out parenting rules that will avoid a bitter custody fight in the divorce courts.
4 Deny Your Ex-Partner the Right to Co-Parent
Denying contact between your spouse and your children is never advisable. Although there should be ground rules related to physical custody, you should aim to develop a responsible co-parenting plan and stick to it.
Co-parenting will make the separation more normal for your children. Controlling behavior and attempts to deny access to children to the other partner without good reason will be looked at unfavorably at a later divorce hearing.
5 Think You can Cope Without Help
The failure of a marriage is one of the most stressful things that can happen in our lives. Stress creates a host of health issues states Psychology Today. The unknowns in divorce can prove considerably more stressful than what couples know. There are a lot of uncertainties in divorce. Partners may not know how often they will end up seeing the children and be unclear about the financial ramifications of divorce. They may be facing the loss of the marital home.
You don’t need to face divorce alone. If you are newly separated, talking to a counselor may help you reduce stress. You should also consider hiring a Georgia divorce attorney to take the legal burden off your shoulders. Contact the Law Office of Michael West at (404) 913-1529.